I was so in my creative flow that I was not aware of the date or time, when I went for my morning walk on my magic meadow by the river where the swans often fly alongside me. As I was walking back, the church bells from the other side of the river asked loudly for attention. They played a melody, then another one, and yet another one, which continued on for a surprisingly long time. I was very surprised about the big repertoire. It had a special energy to it, like a child that had just learned how to whistle a tune and now really, really wanted me to pay attention. Somehow, I knew I had to follow the melodies all the way to where they came from and check out why I felt the calling. Maybe I needed to hear something special today? I would find out. I have never heard church bells ring for that long - and in so many different tunes. It went on and on for what must have been 30-40 minutes. I had to walk all the way back down on one side of the river and back up on the other side. On the way there a little old lady caught my eye, because she was dressed in magenta: her hat and coat, very fashionable, very unusual for the usual beige colours that you often see from a certain age. I slowed down and talked to her, because she apologized for slowing me down with her slow walk, but - she reasoned - she was already 97 and therefore things didn't go as fast. She was totally fit and present and actually not as slow as she made it out to be, just self-conscious. She was surprised that I cared to walk alongside her and talk for a little while, then sent me off 'to continue with my younger life' (or something like that).  I told her what a gift she had given me by sharing all that she shared, and she looked perplexed.

I arrived at the entrance of the church at exactly 10:00am.  People were greeting others at the door and I could see that they know who is usually coming and that I was new. Even though I have a very (!) deep faith, I am not in any church because my heart belongs to all cultures, and I don't believe in 'us vs. them', or that only some are loved and not others. I believe that the Sun shines for all, and so I often call it Love/Spirit/higher Intelligence, so that all hearts can understand. I honor everyone's path home into Love, no matter which walk they choose - as long as they are coming from Love - not judgment.

I asked one lovely lady where would be the best place to sit, because the church bells had called me all the way over from the meadow - and I had the feeling that there was something that I needed to hear today. She placed me with a wonderful wise looking woman who smiled and scooted over. She later explained to me that they were celebrating the Pentecoste and also had two baptisms, so this was a very sacred ceremony and attire. The pastor came right to me to welcome me, which was sweet. I told him that I was called over by the bells from the other side of the river and that I believed that he would say something that I needed to hear. He looked at me - shocked - and a little concerned:''Oh God!'' escaped his mouth. I smiled with a comforting:''Just be yourself!'' which seemed to startle him. Maybe I wasn't supposed to encourage him... maybe that was his job? I hadn't been in a church for a while since God/Love/Spirit is inside of me and around me and my paintings and poetry, blogs, and meditations, are my prayers and intentions and everywhere is a sacred space - even in a supermarket, I believe. I don't go into churches much, but I love the feeling in most of them... and we often rehearsed with our choir in a church. I admit, I love devotional songs and pure voices.

This, like any other sacred space, a gathering place for people to come and be guided, be connected, feel the sacred energy of something beyond 3D - and have coffee and cookies in that Spirit afterwards in community with their tribe, people who share the love for being present like that - and where they feel seen, heard, and recognized... and loved! I love the candles, the feeling of ceremony and sacred ritual. It gives people a point of reference, a point of participation - like singing together. and being inspired by someone who cares and who is present with spiritual connection - at least mostly. I love singing. And, I love the pretty windows, the light, the sound of angelic voices either solo or from the choir, and the possibility of inspiration...

What I didn't like: The seriousness. The uncomfortable seating. The holy smoke (it was so much, it made the man behind me cough). I listened with great focus to the words spoken by the pastor in a reverberating voice, and even though it was inspiring, it was not what I had come here for. He was a powerful speaker, but I could not feel the the energy coming with the words and nothing really lit up for me as: ''THIS is what you needed to hear!'' I noticed some things in the text that we were to repeat that I did not agree with at all, one of which was that they had us say:''I am unworthy...'' Now, that's powerful conditioning, which did not make sense at all: If we are all children/offspring of God, then how can we be unworthy? Wouldn't that also say that God is unworthy? If God is Love, then only when you can put Love instead of the word God into a sentence and it still makes sense, does it tell Love' truth, isn't that so? Love's children unworthy? that can't be.

 When you say ''I am unworthy!'' every time you are there - out loud - repeating after the pastor, it becomes your belief. And we all have that one more or less in our cellular memory. As I was sitting there listening, I heard my own inner voice say:

''My Ministry is Being Me!''

Wow! I knew instantly that that was the sentence I had come here to hear. Just did not think it would be in my own inner world and voice - nor that it would be in this matter-of-fact-way. It repeated several times, only this one short sentence and around it silence, and I thought... ''Oookaaay?!''... but then:''Since I was little I was imagining, whenever I was in a church or a temple, how I would love to immerse people in Love, beauty, wonder, creativity, sacred ceremony, and higher being. 

My vision (to this very day) was this: I want to create sacred spaces, immerse people in Fun, Love, Beauty, Wonder, Magic, Divine Design and DeLight, Music, Books, Movies, and Higher Being. These have been and are my visions:

• gorgeous gardens & spaces
• wonderful music & song
• Lightness and Laughter !!! (so important)
• creative community and co-creation
• candles/tea lights
• gorgeous light and decoration
• magical skylights and amazing windows
• loads of joyous inspiration making people feel GOOD (!) about themselves - not bad.
• people are singers - not sinners (I believe, it was a typo! teehee! When was the last time you hummed in the shower?
• When you keep projecting onto yourself & others that 'you are bad/unworthy', then that's what will grow. How can you possibly see others as worthy from that place - and how are you supposed to love yourself or others, genuinely?

There was much more to the day, but this is long enough for today. The people were all very, very sweet and I felt welcome as their guest, in their church - it is like being in someone's home after all (church bells go outside). So, whether we believe in the same as someone else or not, it was such a beautiful gesture to make me feel welcome and let me be part of their ceremony, no questions asked, and in return, I can honor them for whatever they choose to do, say, or believe as long as they honor that in me as well and respect my own free will like Love would. When we can honor each other and be inspired by one another, then peace is.

in gratitude for Grace in all facets of prosperity,

oxo Tanya